Comedy Store Belly Room

You know you really need to get laid if you’re brushing your teeth in the Belly Room Bathroom during the Show Up Go Up (Sunday Nights).  I’ve done it.  I admittedly don’t go to the store a lot, like I said, I’m trying.  Most of the shows I go to are in the Belly Room as well as the Sunday Night mic which is also in the Belly Room as I previously stated.  I think I’ve used another restroom here but I don’t really remember it.  I like the Belly Room bathroom because the Belly Room is all the way upstairs and it’s nice that you don’t really have to exit the show or mic to use the facilities.  It seems gross for some reason and I’m not sure why.  Just like everything seems a little damaged or old.  I think one handle of the sink wasn’t working that time I brushed my teeth there and I had to use hot water to brush, which I’ve never really done before.  I’d like to thank Mitzi for the experience.  Everything was clean and mostly working, so I guess its fine.  Face it, I felt comfortable brushing my teeth there so I can’t give it less than 3 poop emojis.


3/5 Smiley Poos

3/5 Smiley Poos


Milk Bar

Milk Bar is the Silverlake Lounge of San Francisco except they have more booked shows and less open mics. It's supposed to be a music place but they started getting comedians in there and it's pretty tight. It seems like a lot of comics hang out there. Anyway they have drinks and I don't know if it's a reference to Harvey Milk or not. I'm actually just a visitor. I used the bathroom here a bunch because I was getting a lot of drinks bought by SF comics such as Stokes and Scott Simpson. People do that to out of towners. I like it. Anyway, the bathroom here is ok, the main issue I take with it is that being from out of town I was a gal on the go and it was hard to do my makeup in there with the red lighting (again, very Silverlake lounge). I assume I looked like a clown on stage. Also the hand dryer thing is busted as hell and has a sign on it to please press the button lightly, which makes me think people are wilding out in there on the regular. It was clean tho and didn't have a line. Did not sit down.

4/5 Smiley Poos

4/5 Smiley Poos


The Other Door AKA "Mouthypants"

The Other Door boasts a mic called “Mouthypants” on Tuesday nights from like 8PM-2AM.  It’s really long and I can’t believe the hosts put up with people for that length of time.  When Quincy Johnson used to help out he would get people in and out and I liked it because he would sign me up on the late list a lot.  He also started a late night brunch club which I’m unclear if that is still happening.  He would always get really fattening things like pastrami and milkshakes and I’d always be like “ummmmm nothing for me” and then he’s still skinny and I’m still fat so I can’t tell what’s going on there.  The Other Door has a lot of doors like you would think but the women’s room is in that weird hallway. It seems extremely ADA accessible.  This is important to me.  The ADA bathroom is large enough that you could comfortably go in in a wheelchair and it not be a problem.  Also you can open the cabinet below the sink to roll in closer to the sink.  I like that.  More bathrooms should think about actual people in wheelchairs instead of just the ADA specifics to have your bathroom be accessible.  I really like that it’s accessible.  Normally I would just give it 5 poops just for that but it doesn’t seem fair because there is one thing about the Other Door that not a lot of people know.  The place is super haunted.  It’s haunted as fuck in that bar and I’ve had a weird experience there and the room where I think the spirits mostly hang out is that room full of broken shit in the back which is right next to the bathrooms.  I’m only deducting one point for this because the bathroom is so accessible.  Normally I would seriously probably give like 2 poos even tho the restroom is fine its just the spirits that freak me out.  And I don’t mean the ones behind the bar.  If we can have a cleansing there maybe sage the space or bring in a priest I would be happy to change the rating to five.  Unfortunately, I’m unable to sit down on the seat there because I’m terrified of some Moaning Myrtle style shit going down.


4/5 Smiley Poos

4/5 Smiley Poos

Silverlake Lounge

The Silverlake Lounge boasts infamous open mics Friday Evening, Sunday Afternoon, & now Thursday Late-Night, all with great hosts.  I’m partial to the Thursday night hosts, they are my friends. All the hosts are great though.  Silverlake has strong drinks, dance parties, and the ever-pourin' Mario Soto.  I think the Silversun Pickups used to do the music open mics there. Anyway, the restroom game could be stronger.  The women’s room, unlike the mens, has a lock on the door, a plus.  Also, there is a full-length mirror just outside the restroom. The line can get exceptionally long as this is a single door, single restroom.  Great for privacy.  Which could be a reason the line can get long.  Sometimes women vomit in there and it takes a WHILE if you’re waiting.  In these scenarios, a blogger, or an average customer may have to use the men’s room.  Typically if this happens you will need to have a friend nearby standing guard because, as previously mentioned, the men’s room has no lock on the door.  Once you go to find a friend and come back, rest assured that the women’s room will still be occupied (50/50 chance on whether you’ll hear retching or snorting from outside the door), and rest assured that when you open that men’s room door, even if you were certain it was empty before, you will accidentally see a man peeing.  Oops.  It happens to all of us.  Kindly wait for him to come out and then take your turn.  You are likely to hear your friend outside the restroom trying to explain to a gentleman that there is a lady in there.  Sometimes the gentlemen do not appreciate a woman using “their” restroom, and sometimes they are kind about it.  After you wash your hands, exit, and mutter your “sorry” to the man waiting as women are conditioned to do, you’ll notice that the women’s room is still occupied.  If you do get the chance to use the ladies room, possibly the next time you need the facilities (let’s face it you’ve had four or five beers at this point and [insert-horrible-open-micers-name-here] just went up), you may be pleasantly surprised. You see, one thing that this blogger truly desires in a restroom is a red overhead light, to make you completely question the color of the lipstick or shirt you put on previous to heading into the mic.  The smell can, at times, be not so great, but Mario is pretty good about keeping the restroom clean and stocked with toilet paper, soap and paper towels.  Once or twice the toilet has clogged, and that’s a bummer, but he gets to fixing it pretty quick.  The water in the sink is low-flow, and I’m always afraid that the toilet won’t flush.  But it does.  Overall it’s a decent open mic restroom.  I’ve sat down on the seat here, but only when I couldn’t stand up anymore, ya know?


3/5 Smiley Poos

3/5 Smiley Poos